My dear son

Today I spent some time in one of the wonders of the modern world. Jonathan's bedroom. I cannot figure out how he does it. I probably straighten it thoroughly once per week, with him giving it some favourable attention a couple of times in between. What else goes on in there through the week is beyond me.
Now, I should start by acknowledging that I am in uncharted territory. I only have one son. I have three girls. I have never been a son. I have a brother, but can't say I remember a whole lot about his childhood except that he was always thinner than me, had tons of energy, and could stand on his head. I have no idea in what condition he kept his room. One of my daughters keeps her room in pristine condition. The other two do not. Jonathan's room is in another league altogether.

Upon entering his room, I can't help but notice the huge pile of "dirty" clothes by the door. How many outfits does he wear in one day? I collect the laundry every day! Where does all the garbage come from? There are wrappers, paper, shredded plastic bags, broken crayons, cut up elastics and pieces of string on the floor and on his dresser and his bedside table. How does he get through his room in the night with Lego all over the floor? What is that black/blue fuzz in the carpet? How did all that stuff get under the bed?

After cautiously making my way to his bed, I begin to make it for him. I instantly have some more questions: Why is the sheet off? How does he sleep with the duvet on sideways? Why are there a dozen books and an entire package of pencils between his bed and the wall? How did the foot of his bed get pulled three inches out from the wall? And the question du jour: WHY is there a hole BURNED through his duvet? A hole! Burned! Through his duvet!

I actually made the bed with said duvet, although it occured to me that maybe he should get a new duvet. But then I asked myself, Why would I get him a new one if he has already burned (!) the one he has? Burned? How? It looks suspiciously like a nightlight bulb. They are 7 watts. How does that happen? I haven't asked him yet, but I'll be very interested to hear his answer.

Mommy